its been a long time since i posted anything lols.
might as well close my blog and see the same old bar of words again.
but aint gonna do tt for some silly reasons hoho.

now for the past few days, once again many different ppl have enlightened me in many different ways.
the most recent one wld be Reuben Ho!
yea ive realli gotta thank him lols.
long story short, just by reading his post alone, has inspired me spiritually and yet at the same time, made me feel guilty of myself and start tinking more in depth of wad i have been doin for the past 1 and a half years ever since i accepted Christ.
and sadly yes, im growing further and further from Him with each passing day.
sometimes i wonder to myself, why ponder so much on other things and not on God?
why think so much abt wad im gonna buy, where im gonna go for shopping, who am i gonna date, wad results im gonna get, how is my family gonna turn out, when i can be spending more time with Him?

ahh shucks.
my mind is in turmoil = =
for the past few horrible weeks, where it felt as if i was fighting a war without an army, i cld realli see hu realli cared, and hu didnt.
ok i dun wanna continue on this topic becoz i noe nth gd will come out of this. lols.
yea im stressed, O lvl MT is just 4-3 days away, and im not even 50% prepared.
argh.
cant take it lols. i will just list out some of the words i wld use shld i ever continue talking abt TT topic i just mentioned. For relieving stress purposes lol:
Forlorn Hope
Disappointment
Unexpected
Foolish
Naive
Girl
where
when
needed
unwanted absence
Trust
Fear
Hope
Sorry

hohos. im still feeling all cramped up. just wanna let it all out, but hu can i vent everything out on?
and i noe i had done many foolish, SUPERBLY FOOLISH, things which caused much dismay and aversion amongst the ppl i love.
I'm Sorry

DISCIPLINE ppl. DISCIPLINE.
i apologise for the random lines.
the whole post is in a mess lols.
i just..nid a break.
but unfortunately many unwanted things prevent me from having one -.-
shoo U!
shoo!